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Death Valet: Rod Garth

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Name: Rodney “Rod” Garth

Bio: Rod is one of the four Garth siblings, and by far the least mature of the four.
Born from the same batch of eggs as his siblings, Rod was in youth a lazy, somewhat chubby alligator who tended to get teased about this throughout his early life by his peers…unlike Belinda though, he handled the bullying differently, instead motivating himself to working out more, and with his parents being who they were, it was easy to get help in doing this. And before long he’d lost his fat and got in good shape, and continued doing this through the rest of his childhood…then promptly using his newfound strength to exact revenge on his bullies, and gaining respect from the rest of his peers.
This went right to Rod’s head, and he began to view himself as a big cheese, he didn’t become a bully himself and he did routinely beat up bullies he found in school, but he did grow into being one of the most popular kids in his school (even before he entered his teens) and viewed himself as real hot shit (and in some ways he was kinda right but he overestimated himself outside of school, and his continual arrogance tended to annoy his family a bit too much).
Now this all was before he even hit puberty, and even then he was still popular with girls, and he enjoyed the attention they gave him, but as he grew, he began to find other ways to enjoy them…he originally just used pornographic magazines to satisfy his ‘urges’ but when he was fifteen he lost his virginity to a tigress cheerleader from his school, and from there his interest in the seduction of girls grew.
Still continuing his tendency to beat up the local bullies, Rod then began to balance this with, in addition, also boning as many cute girls as he could, at the time he really only did this with girls his own age, save for a few particularly hot teachers he seduced. But as the bullies in his high school began to pretty much all reform, he decided to start outsourcing his bully-beating tendencies by going out into Hetelville to beat up criminals instead, thoroughly enjoying this and basically building up more of a reputation, despite not having the level of raw talent his siblings had for fighting, he became pretty badass himself through a mix of self-training and taking a boxing class. In his offtime, he would often either sleep around or party, again, much to the annoyance of his family.
He continued on with this well into his college years, where he continued to do little other than just sleeping around with women and partying, though he also liked to travel when he had the opportunity and take adventures, and it was during these years that he figured out what he wanted to do with his life.
One day, after an adventure where he recovered a ridiculously valuable black bird statuette, slept with a whole troupe of female Russian ballerinas (along with an Italian movie star, a gill-woman, a whole brothel, a pair of blonde zombie twins, and a female humanoid panda police officer who pulled him over for speeding…and this was how he paid off the ticket), arm wrestled a dragon, took out a Mexican drug cartel singlehandedly, played with a hard rock band at a concert, defeated a criminal mastermind blob, and ate twenty bowls of rice in one sitting. It occurred to Rod that he had a lot of skill in adventuring, plus he also could do the very things he loved during them…so he decided to go into work as an adventurer for hire, sort of like a mercenary, but with more ethics (in fact you could compare his crusade to Luke Cage’s, sort of like a hero for hire…or antihero in Rod’s case).
Beginning to take any jobs people might want from a big badass gator (work not being hard to find due to the rep he’d already developed…which also led to him being hired as a gigolo more than once),  he began to grow a large hoard of treasure over the course of several months…which would be amazing if it wasn’t for his poor handling of finances, as numerous parties, the services of prostitutes, and generally not having much of a clue how to handle his own accounting tending to make all of his money pretty much get flushed down the drain.
But in one trip to Japan at the age of 20, this changed.
Rod was initially just visiting Japan at the time so he could compete in a high stakes sake drinking contest against a living whiskey bottle who married a talking blunt. After the contest was over, he found a Japanese MILF and went to her place for a ‘private celebration party’.
Now as he was banging her, he’d happened to bring his PDA which contained the information on taxes and showed the numerous failures he’d made in accounting for them, which had been handled poorly, and while sex was ensuing, the then fourteen year old daughter of this woman, one Chieko Masaki, happened to find it, and turned it on out of curiosity.
By the time Rod finally finished, he walked right in on her and angrily grabbed the device back…and was awestruck when he saw that she actually succeeded in figuring out how to handle his taxes effectively enough to even get him a refund. It turned out she was a prodigy of sorts who was particularly skilled and interested in finances, but due to her mother being a bit of a bimbo and having a very poor ability to actually keep any kind of job save stuff like stripping and prostitution, Chieko wasn’t able to advance her education as far as she wanted.
Now while Rod was effectively a giant horndog, he still had a good side and was touched by her story…and also smelling an opportunity, he offered to take Chieko in and pay for an education overseas, on the condition she became his partner, handling the economic side of his business. Chieko’s mom wanted the girl to succeed, and though she would miss her, agreed to this deal…though Rod helped her get to Hetelville as well and arranged for a job at a local brothel he knew.
When Chieko and her mother moved to Hetelville, Rod immediately paid for some education to help improve her own skills, and she took to them like a fish to water.
With Chieko aiding him as his accountant (which was a very difficult job, because despite figuring out how to balance Rod’s accounts she could not curb his partying at all, which led to her instead learning how to serve as an ‘agent’ of sorts to help him find work, which turned out to work even better), and soon thereafter his ‘agent’, manager, and publicist, Rod’s adventuring began to become more frequent, and as she kept on figuring out more jobs that could take more money in for him (like raiding treasure vaults of dragons (on this and other universes), and build up his ‘rep’, Rod became a more and more prominent adventurer, and as a side effect his reputation as a sexual Godzilla began to be spread by the many, many women he banged pretty much everywhere he went.
After the years, he and Chieko developed a bond similar to that of a brother and a sister, and even when she became old enough to be ‘legal’ he never actually hit on her and the thought of banging her never even entered his mind.
By the time Rod graduated college (barely due to how much time he spent either partying, boning women, or adventuring, but he managed it) he’d already gotten known far and wide as a mighty adventurer, and when he moved out into a new house, Chieko moved in with him, turning her section of it into the nerve center for her job and a living quarters, and due to Rod still constantly partying/sleeping around she had her section soundproofed so she could sleep in peace, and Rod made sure none of his partying carried over to her side.
Over the years they’ve been going on a ton of adventures together, and though they’ve had to go through a lot of problems (which include the massive amount of paternity lawsuits he’s been on the receiving end of), Rod and Chieko both are still working together and at present are in another universe after they saved it from a giant shadow-demon, only for a situation on Earth to call them both back…

Personality and Mannerisms: Rod is a twenty-six year old, boisterous, adventure loving alligator with a large fondness for partying, fighting (plus badassery in general), and seducing attractive women.
Rod has had a massive love for adventure ever since he started working out, the stories his father told him about his own exploits having been the fuel, and helped him get the idea to go on the adventure of beating the tar out of the bullies in his neighborhood. Rod is almost always down for an adventure, and if he thinks he can get a good one (especially if he can get a good profit off of it) he’ll generally go on it pretty quick, and loves the idea of going about beating the crap out of people, granted he won’t just attack anyone, really only just the people he believes has it coming to them (including criminals, terrorists, real monsters, and assholes) which separates him from people like Dennis who love combat but have no limits on who they’ll attack, as opposed to Rod who does.
While he loves combat, Rod doesn’t particularly like the idea of shooting people or using actual weapons on a regular basis…this is less due to him being opposed to them (as mentioned below he does keep an arsenal and does find guns to be awesome) and more because he just really, really loves punching people and engaging in physical combat. He also really loves turning nearby weapons into improvised clubs (such as a streetlamp) or throwing weapons (like a dumpster or even a whole chunk of street).
Rod is also quite loudmouthed and passionate about his work, while he can be hammy he isn’t as loud as most ‘Large ham’ characters…except when he’s in a fight, he can get pretty loud when he’s in one.,yelling off at his opponents and letting one liners fly out like machine gun bullets. He’s also got an unnatural amount of tenacity that not even his other siblings can match, while they’re all equals in some way or another. He is perfectly capable of being stealthy when the situation absolutely requires it, but he mostly prefers to just punch his way through everything and everyone instead.
Due to his skills, physical abilities, and massive list of achievements (including the massive number of women he’s slept with), Rod is quite arrogant, narcissistic, and self-aggrandizing, he is completely confident in his skills too. It’s not uncommon for him to brag about his achievements (especially to impress women), and if asked he’s more than willing to tell you the stories behind them.
Don’t be fooled though, despite Rod viewing himself as being more badass than he actually is and God’s gift to women, he’s actually a pretty nice guy when you look past that.
He’s surprisingly generous, and is fully willing to share food with others if he has enough to spare despite his immense arrogance, he’s also not too adverse to giving money to people who need it if he can spare it (usually with Chieko’s advising), though for some reason he’s very reluctant to pay for child support with the women he’s impregnated.
Rod also cares a lot for his family, Chieko (who, as mentioned, he views as a sort of little sister) and those he considers friends. Though his family often is very frustrated with the more jerkish side, and doesn’t see his better qualities as much, Chieko and his friends on the other hand see it rather clearly (and Belinda too, the member of his family he gets on best with). Chieko is the person he treats the best though, and as a result is more willing to listen to her advice depending on what it is (mostly where money is concerned), and personally paid for her half of the house they share to be soundproofed so she wouldn’t be disturbed or kept up by the partying he constantly does (plus since she doesn’t want any part of that he respects this and helps keep her out of it).
When not adventuring, Rod loves to very frequently either have sex with women or hold parties at his house (sometimes combining both tendencies), these parties tend to be pretty wild, loud, full of booze and alcohol, and basically the debauched sort of things you’d expect fratboys to do when they hold a party. Rod is a large party animal who tends to have a lot of fun whenever he holds these, and generally doesn’t care for the aftereffects until after the party is over (and when whatever he does dawns on him).
While a very accomplished adventurer, Rod is in fact quite stupid and not too sensible in general. His ability to handle money is incredibly poor and tends to spend most the money he gets damned near immediately and is none too bright on various topics not related to adventuring, especially in the areas of math, art (which he knows even less about), geography, and science. Rather relying on much smarter people for this kind of information. His own arrogance also is a bigger hindrance to his own intelligence as it can make him think he’s smarter than he actually is, which can seriously backfire on him when he’s in a situation that generally requires intelligence to get out of. And one of the biggest examples of his idiocy is below.
However, even though he is a major idiot all too often, Rod (as mentioned below) can be surprisingly intelligent. When adventuring is concerned he retains a surprisingly good amount of knowledge (while not a formal medic, as he couldn’t perform too complex operations, he knows how to handle injuries and has basic medical knowledge), can remember a surprising lot about cultures (not the fine details, but more than you’d expect him to, and he’s generally very much unaware of ancient cultures he hasn’t had to deal with and run into yet (and while he doesn’t know a lot about these cultures, he does tend to remember stuff about them in case it comes in handy later) but does have a surprisingly good memory, but as he doesn’t actively study these things the stuff he knows is either what he remembers in hearing about a place he’s visiting, and what he’s learned firsthand.
Rod has a large appetite and loves to eat a lot, particularly in high calorie meals that involve lots of meat or junk food. This isn’t as big a problem for him as he is both an alligator (who generally eat a lot as a species) and exceptionally fit, so in a way he kind of needs to eat a lot, he also exercises a lot to keep his body in good shape both for adventuring and his more hedonistic interests, he is also a very big fan of the Youtube show Epic Meal Time, and has watched every single episode and those of its spinoff Handle It. However, Rod actually knows how to cook, and quite well too (much to the surprise of most, especially those who think he’s just an idiot), however as you may expect his cooking skills are based mostly around just him emulating Epic Meal Time, both in terms of making the food seen on the show, and high-calorie, junk food based meals of his own. He generally does this when he’s not ordering out food or getting Chieko to make him something. Though unlike the guys from Epic Meal Time he does eat fruit and vegetables, he just doesn’t eat them anywhere near as much as he does meat.
But the best example of his surprising intelligence are his incredible fighting abilities (explained in detail below), he is a martial artist of great skill despite being mostly self-taught, to the point where he got even better than his parents at fighting (though Belinda is the best martial artist out of all her siblings), and has a surprising cunning when it comes to battle, while not a tactical commander by any means, in a fight when it’s just him he can be surprising clever in fighting enemies. Exploiting weaknesses, taking advantage of terrain, and sometimes figuring out some surprisingly clever methods of attack, even Chieko is willing to take his advice in this (provided it actually does make sense) and as she’s lived and worked with him for a long time she knows more about Rod’s idiocy than anyone on Earth, which should say something about his surprisingly sharp knowledge of fighting. Humorously enough though aside from these abovementioned talents and his incredible skill at seduction, Rod is a moron…it’s just that these are his strong points, smarts wise.
Rod has a massive libido and really, really loves to have sex often (the exact number of the ‘partners’ he’s had is unknown, but it’s believed to be a five digit number.) As I have mentioned repeatedly (but figured that as a part of his personality it needed explanation), ever since he was fifteen he’d been sleeping around with as many women as he could, and had over years developed a keen sense of charisma and charm that he uses in addition to experience gained over an eleven year period of constant seductions, his body, the reputation he developed and his knowledge of how to appeal to women as his means of being able to constantly get laid. This is the last of the skills where he is surprisingly intelligent.
Despite being a casanova, Rod is determined to give pretty much any women he sleeps with the best sex he can, and does know that there’s more to women than just their bodies as he actually respects some of them for a lot more than just their bodies (especially Chieko) and is willing to respect that…however, Rod is just more interested in the physical aspects they have instead hence why he prefers to just sleep with them. He does have several female friends though, most just friends with benefits.
However, despite his perpetually horny nature, he has several limits. He absolutely refuses to have sex with any girl younger than eighteen, and will not have sex with women he doesn’t find attractive (if he finds a woman at all attractive he’s willing to have sex, but whether or not he chooses to do it is another matter), two other factors come in the form of how he won’t do it if he feels he can’t really spend any time on it (which is a situation that tends to vary depending on what he’s doing at the time and how attractive the woman in question is…while a horndog, he’s not made out of time after all) and the other is simply respect, sometimes he’ll respect a woman so much he’ll not sleep with her because ‘it wouldn’t feel right’ if he did so, such women generally prove to be so strong and badass that in his opinion they’ve well earned it. Badassery is one of the best ways to impress him.
Despite his immense skill though, Rod has ran into women he actually cannot seduce, while some women can take a while for him to woo, these ones he actually can’t convince to sleep with him no matter what he tries, despite this he will generally still try to hit on them, either just to tease them or in some hope of getting lucky. Some of the women he respects also fall under this category.
One other thing about his seduction tendencies is that Rod has little problems with the idea of seducing other people’s wives or girlfriends…but this is less due to jerkassery and more due to him simply being a huge idiot, the only reason he tries to seduce them is nothing personal, it’s all just for physical reasons, his mistake is in assuming that they’re doing it for the same reason, he also usually isn’t around to see the aftermath of these encounters, hence why he doesn’t realize how his sleeping around causes them trouble. So he’s not being malicious when he does this, it’s more because somehow he doesn’t honestly find anything wrong with doing so, this being a flaw in his personality. He also is very reluctant to help raise any of the illegitimate children he’s sired, the reason he generally gives is because it’d slow him down, but the real reason (which very, very few people know) is because he actually thinks he wouldn’t make a good Dad at all, and is actually a bit uneasy about the idea of failing to raise one right, believing it’d be better if he didn’t…this fear is one he’ll have to confront someday, whether he realizes it or not.) Now this could be more solved if he used condoms…but unfortunately enough, Rod has a large aversion to using them, plus as an alligator he can’t catch STDs so he doesn’t actually need to practice safe sex, but this aversion to them is generally why he has to deal with more child support lawsuits than anyone in history (in fact he made the Guinness book of World Records for it).
While Rod is more interested in doing ‘adult’ activities, he does have a soft spot for children (despite his unwillingness to pay for child support payments…the reason for this being a spoiler of the story itself, so I won’t explain it here for obvious reasons, save that it’s actually not as bad as one would expect from doing something like this) and is quite nice to them. He also particularly likes his nephew Gagnesh and likes to offer him advice when he can. He also tends to get really, really angry when somebody abuses or attacks kids, and even more so when someone does this to a woman (attractive or otherwise, but attacking a beautiful woman pisses him off even more than either…and KILLING a beautiful woman pisses him off even more than that), though for evil women he generally doesn’t get as angry for, despite being a horndog he knows right from wrong, and knows the difference very well.
However, even if a woman is evil Rod absolutely refuses to hit women at all, save under the very biggest, absolutely gargantuan circumstances…so that’s why he usually has Chieko deal with the female villains.
When not adventuring, fighting, screwing, or partying, he often likes to hang out with Chieko, family members (when he can, this opportunity isn’t too often), and friends. And when he isn’t doing any of that he loves to kick back and relax, sometimes performing some other activity to entertain himself (such as watch TV or a movie…or sometimes play a videogame, which he’s got some interest in but generally because of Chieko’s interest in it, and he does enjoy playing them with her) or just napping.

Powers, Skills, and Equipment: Rod, as mentioned above, is a seasoned adventurer. As such he has a set of skills that both help him perform badassery and actually succeed all the time.
While most alligators are rather strong, Rod is really, really strong, having worked out and honed his body so he has incredible strength, and endurance that reaches superhuman levels, granted he’s not strong enough to juggle buildings but he can crush cars and smash boulders with little difficulty at all. He’s also pretty fast but not at superhuman levels at all, and his leg muscles are quite strong, capable of leaping pretty far too. Rod is also a pretty fast healer, though not to Wolverine levels, it’s just that he heals from injuries a bit faster than most.
Like most alligators he has a real good, superhuman (by human standards) sense of taste and smell, he’s also got some pretty good eyesight. And like other alligators he’s got an insanely good immune system.
While alligators are generally very good swimmers Rod is exceptionally good, able to fight underwater as easily as on land (in fact in the water he’s even faster), and out of his whole family is actually the best swimmer, and can stay underwater a long time, up to fifty minutes maximum (a skill he developed from fucking mermaids…a lot of them).
For fighting skills he’s got some real good skill but is mostly self-trained through experience and actual self-training (when he was younger, he got some help from his parents), his skills are mostly based in boxing and wrestling moves, his fighting style however is a totally confusing hodgepodge that incorporates many different moves from many different fighting styles, based after what he just picks up, taught himself, and what he sees his opponents doing. As a result, it’s very hard to predict and keep up with because of how random it can be at times.
Despite being a moron, Rod is far from stupid, you wouldn’t think of it at first glance, when you witness his rather hedonistic and shallow lifestyle you’d assume he was generally a complete moron, but in truth he is actually very cunning when he really needs to be, mostly where fighting is concerned, in fights he can prove a crafty opponent due to him knowing quite a lot about fighting, and how to exploit weaknesses in his enemies, his cunning isn’t on the level of a master strategist but it’s still cunning enough to make him very dangerous in a fight, especially since his aforementioned womanizing and partying tends to make people underestimate him. Rod also knows and remembers a lot from the many adventures he’s been on, and this knowledge can prove useful in the many situations he’s wound up in over the course of his life. However, this ability of cunning is mostly limited to just adventuring, fighting, cooking, and the ability to seduce and pleasure women, he isn’t as intelligent in a lot of other matters as you may see above.
While Rod is a big of a moron where a lot of things are concerned, he is surprisingly good as a cook, these skills however were developed from his being a huge fan…of Epic Meal Time. As a result most the things he cooks involve a lot of meat, and are high in calories (that is when he isn’t ordering his food or having Chieko make him a meal), this isn’t as big of a deal for him due both to how fit he is and the fact that he does a lot of activity (such as exercise, fighting, and sex. To name some examples) and is a big eater already, so this really doesn’t harm his health that much.
Rod is highly, highly skilled in the art of seduction, as mentioned he has had sex with so many women the exact number isn’t known but it is known to be within five digit numbers. He has a level of charm and charisma that he’s honed over many years to borderline superhuman levels, he can talk pretty much any woman he’s interested in to sleep with him, sometimes it can take a while to actually do though, and sometimes he can fail, but it doesn’t deny the fact that he’s very good at seduction, he’s also learned (through some actual research but mostly through experience) how to pleasure the women he’s with very, very well, which has allowed him to develop the ‘reputation’ he has among the women he’s been with.  However his constant sleeping around can also be a hindrance to him and Chieko sometimes, in addition to a weakness as you can see above.
Unlike most other characters, Rod doesn’t really have any particular equipment, preferring to punch up enemies and engage in physical combat (and for melee weapons he prefers doing stuff like uplifting street signs, trees, or lampposts and using them as clubs, and throwing heavy objects like dumpsters and boulders for projectile weapons), but he does keep a large assortment of weapons at his house, but they all are insanely badass and manly, like miniguns, double barrel miniguns, bazookas that fire exploding drill rockets, buzzsaw launchers, chainsaw rifles, and stuff like that. And even then he only uses them when he feels he really has to, this is (as expected) due to how he very much prefers to beat the shit out of people instead of just shooting them.

Appearance: Rod is a tall, muscular, handsome, male alligator of twenty-six years of age. The build his body has being comparable to characters like ShoNuff44's Shred Wolf. Look at this picture featuring him as a reference: www.deviantart.com/art/Squeek-…
As an alligator, Rod has a snout, his being roughly about the same length as his brother’s at nine inches long, and about seven inches wide. His tail is also rather developed and strong, having the largest tail of his four siblings both in terms of size (pretty fit) and is about four feet long as well.
As mentioned, Rod’s body, while quite large, is also very developed and quite muscular, he’s perfectly fit and has some large arms and legs with great biceps and muscles, in addition to a firm butt, an excellent six-pack, and a broad chest (as he’s not only just in great physical condition, but his muscles are quite attractive to women). He’s also got a large dick (about nine inches long to be precise) and a fittingly sized sack of balls.
For his head, Rod is bald but thinks nothing of this, and is quite handsome, his eyes being green. Like every alligator his teeth are quite sharp, though through years of experience and practice he can be incredibly precise with them if he needs to, for similar reasons sometimes his smile can be quite charming (especially when he wants to woo a woman) or very threatening (when he’s fighting, he particularly enjoys flashing what can be a very menacing grin). His scale tone is similar to that of his own siblings, though his scales are darker than theirs and he has a more rough and rugged feel to him.
The clothes he likes to wear are a brown leather jacket, a white undershirt, a pair of black pants and sometimes some black aviator sunglasses.

Other: Rod was loosely inspired by Shred Wolf, the creation of artist ShoNuff44, a badass humanoid wolf who is very skilled at bedding women, not unlike Rod (though there are a lot of differences between the two, especially in terms of personalities).
My ideal voice actor for him is Jon St. John (the voice of Duke Nukem...and I’d want him in the Duke Nukem voice).
And now, after a long while of writing, here's the profile for Rod Garth, Alistair's manly horndog of a brother.
After him, there'll be two extra additions to the Second Wave of character bios. One of them being Chieko Masaki (who as you may notice is mentioned repeatedly here), and a new OC named Alejandro Montoya. This being in addition to Jason Garth.
Chieko's profile will be the next one published. And I'm in the process of writing it now.
© 2014 - 2024 A-Fox-Of-Fiction
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Fansyboots's avatar
Does he have a hard time dealing with erratic temperatures like all reptiles?