Death Valet: DennisHappy Easter! Today, I hereby publish the final bio of the first wave of my Death Valet characters. This being Dennis the Vampire, the last member of Ednit’s gang. In a while, I’ll publish the prologue script for Death Valet, but after that it’ll be a while before I put out Wave Two. Enjoy!Death Valet: Dennis by A-Fox-of-Fanfiction
Name: Dennis (last name unknown)
Bio: Dennis is a vampire who has decades of experience in killing people and being a gigantic asshole in general.
He started his life in 1843, the son of a freedman…but while his father (though struggling to support his family) was a good man, Dennis took to bullying children behind the man’s back, and never grew out of this as he was careful enough never to actually get caught doing this.
As he grew older he became more and more brutal and vicious, but he finally got revealed for his true self when on a whim, he took money from a beggar, and when the man tried to stop him, Dennis grew angry and beat the guy to death.
Afterwards, it daw
Death Valet: Caligari the HidebehindThe end is near! Gaze upon the second to last character profile in the first wave of character profiles for my upcoming epic-in-the-making, Death Valet! Here’s Caligari the Hidebehind.Death Valet: Caligari the Hidebehind by A-Fox-of-Fanfiction
Name: Urkel “Caligari” Grey
Bio: Caligari, much like Barry, was also an orphan, left on the doorstep of an orphanage, only a different one than the one Barry wound up in.
Almost nothing was known of him except for the note referring to him as Urkel Grey, but he never cared enough to actually look into his past.
However, he found the environment too stifling for him, and longed for a freer life. Even at the young age of seven he’d had an unnatural level of intelligence, and attempted to escape by inciting a riot at the orphanage and escaping in the chaos.
Unfortunately for him, nobody found out who started the riot but in the process the building was destroyed, he got caught trying to escape and instead got transferred to a different orphanage.
This happened to be the same orphanag
Death Valet: Barry StonefistI'm back! And here we have one of the final three bios for the first wave of the Death Valet character bios. Here we have Barry Stonefist, Ednit's muscle and one of his premier minons.Death Valet: Barry Stonefist by A-Fox-of-Fanfiction
Name: Barry Stonefist
Bio: Barry the cactus cat was born an orphan, with nothing known about him except his name, Barry.
He was left on the doorstep of an orphanage as an infant, with a note left by his unknown mother, he was taken in and pretty soon it was clear that he was growing larger than most Cactus Cats ever did.
The orphanage was full of kids who bullied him for his size, and he found a friend in Caligari, another orphan and an intelligent Hidebehind who was similarly bullied.
The two decided they’d have it better on the streets of Hetelville, running away and starting to live on it as a pair of homeless kids.
They had difficulties living at times, and tended to bicker but they’d developed into a brotherly bond, and were inseparable, and while they didn’t have a set home they k
Death Valet: Dr. Julia FreudWelcome back viewers, I got Redline a few days ago and have already seen it six times...THAT MOVIE IS FUCKING AWESOME! LYNCHMAN AND JOHNNY BOYA RULE!!!Death Valet: Dr. Julia Freud by A-Fox-of-Fanfiction
On a more "On topic" note, here's the profile for Julia Freud, a supporting character from Death Valet and a parody of the "Hot Scientist" trope.
Name: Dr. Julia Freud
Bio: Julia Freud’s parents, Simon and Janet Freud, were originally very ordinary people who happened to share their surname with the famous psychologist. However, when their sole daughter Julia was born, their life wound up changing.
They both worked at a corporation in Hetelville that happened to be specialists in genetic engineering, the owner of which was currently trying to make a genetically altered human being containing the genius of twentyone of history’s most brilliant minds, and unfortunately for Julia’s parents said owner (who was a real dickhead to begin with) chose to use them as the ‘carriers’ for the experiment.
It was midnight, and the Night of Joy bar was one of the few places in town that still got business this time of night…apart from the Red Light district that is.
The bar was a seedy joint, usually filled with the dregs of society. Junkies, thieves, killers, dealers, wiseguys, and women of pleasure, you get the picture.
Tonight however, very few people were there. Just a pair of insane juggalos slurping down faygo after faygo at the bar, a nervous, skinny rhino at the other end of the bar who secretly had a sock fulla cocaine hiding in his stomach, a violent looking thug with a knife in his back and a belly full of beer at a table (with even more beer about to join it), the bartender, and a shadowy woman sitting in a corner booth as she awaited an appointment.
The woman in particular made everybody, except the two insane clowns, nervous because they knew full well who she was, occasionally shooting a glance every now and then to make sure she wasn't pointing a gun at them or something.
Blackie Bear moved in through the door and swept his eyes over the room in search of a lady cat with white fur.
I'll give you two guesses as to where she was.
As the ursine ladykiller strode in, his eyes rested upon the woman he'd agreed to meet. She was a tall, white furred cat in her late twenties, her ice blue eyes looking up with a gaze that cut through to his soul as if her peepers were x-rays that stared into it.
She wore a black leather coat with a grey sweater underneath and a pair of black pants which sported a belt with multiple guns strapped to it.
She was calmly smoking a cigarette as she stared up at him, her features rough and col yet feminine and beautiful enough to leave no mistake about what her gender was.
Blackie also realized that she likely had an athletic build, but not the sexy kind he was used to, more like a mix between that and a goddamned terminator.
He was about to continue undressing her with his eyes, when a stern glare from her sent the clear message of 'Get the fuck over here.'
The bear moved forward, it was quite clear that the bar was on edge and presumably because of her. It was no surprise either, she felt dangerous and powerful, like a woman from a film noir movie…only she seemed more the hard boiled detective trying to find the bird statuette that was really a fake than the sex bomb seductress trying to get at him.
This was Lucy Katt AKA The Chicago Terror AKA Snow White, a bounty hunter and bodyguard downright notorious for engaging in criminal activities when offered enough money, suspected (but never being proven) to have engaged in murder, burglary, mercenary work, and sabotage.
This woman breathed power and smelled like danger, to anyone with a brain this'd be a sign to either run for their lives or stay out of her way, unless you needed to do business with her.
Blackie's hand gripped the briefcase he was carrying tighter, this woman might have smelt like trouble but this wasn't exactly scaring him, just the opposite in fact.
Nearing the table, his ladykilling grin rose up on his face in hopes of maybe scoring some ass for later "Well hello there, I take it you're the foxy chick who wants to make some easy money?"
Lucy pulled out her cigarette and blew a puff of smoke into Blackie's face, a look of amusement slipping her face as he coughed on it.
"Maybe" she said, her voice sounding a bit cold, but with warm undertones "Just don't confuse 'mercenary' with 'prostitute' my claws still have stains from the last jerk-off to try that."
She unsheathed said biological knives from her fingers and showed them to Blackie, he could indeed see very faint bloodstains on them.
The bear's intentions of hopefully getting laid dimmed only slightly as he sat down at the table.
"Yes…well I'm here because I wish to hire you for-"
"Briefcase" Lucy interrupted "What's in it?"
Blackie's train of thought flew off the tracks for a moment before he pulled up said case up to the table and opened it.
Within it lay a sight that gave an amused eye roll from Lucy, there was money in this case and plenty of it.
"Jesus" she muttered, puffing out another tiny cloud of smoke "You brought the money in this?! Do you have any damn idea how cliché this is?"
"Says miss 'let's meet in a shady bar at midnight', like you have better ideas."
The cat glared poison tipped daggers at him "The owner works for me, you furry jackass! But let's discuss boneheaded ideas later.
"You, Blackie Bear, one of the biggest sex fiends in this town, if not the entire state, want to hire me for some purpose that is currently unknown. I take it this is somehow related to your poonmongering?"
"Uh...yeah" he admitted.
A confused look appeared on her face "Y'know, I didn't peg you as the 'take out romantic rivals' type. What changed there?"
"It's nothing like that at all" the bear grumbled with annoyance "I need you to help sex up my girlfriend."
The cat's ears pinned back and yet another glare was directed right at Blackie's face "You dickbag! What did I just tell-"
"It's not prostitution, it's sabotage."
Lucy's face fell into a near comical confusion, not having expected something like this, especially not when involved with some presumably convoluted plan to get laid. "Explain."
Blackie groaned and leaned back in his chair "Well it's like this, I've been sleeping around with many women for quite some time now."
Lucy let loose a short *snrk* as she tried to repress laughter "I already knew that, Hell, everybody in the nightlife does. There's a reason women call you 'Blackie two-times', it's a wonder you're still dating anybody."
"Well that's kinda the point" Blackie pointed out, continuing his explanation "See, I've been thinking lately that I've been thinking I should fuck her more, y'know? What's the point of having a pie if you can't eat it?"
"Interesting choice of words" Lucy dryly remarked, noting her cigarette was nearly finished.
"It fits" Blackie protested, watching as Lucy pulled a new cigarette out of her pack of Moreleys "Anyways, the problem is she's trying to enter the Mrs. Olympia contest, she's so determined to win she refuses to sleep with me at all."
Lucy had since lit her cigarette and was quietly puffing on it as she listened "So what, you want me to interfere with her practice so you can get laid? Isn't that…selfish to an extreme?"
Blackie arrogantly denied this "Nah, it ain't. Besides, it's her rival you need to sabotage."
The cat's eyebrows rose again in curiosity, and as his logic occurred to her, they lowered slowly "I get it, you want this woman out of the picture so your girlfriend wins. And in winning she'll be in a good enough mood to provide twice as much pleasure as she's given you before."
"Exactly!" The would-be schemer exclaimed with pride, Lucy having finally gotten his whole plan.
The cat's ears pinned back as far as they could go, her claws unsheathed, and her eyes were under the impression they doubled as death rays and bored a hole straight into his head.
"You asshole!" She growled "You want to throw somebody out of a bodybuilding contest, through me, just so you can get laid?! Do you have any idea how fucking selfish that is?!"
"Well it's her or me" he argued, having gotten comfortable and not realized how close his death could be "I want to bone Monica like a hump-crazy vixen and this whole contest is getting in the way. If she wins, I won't get blueballed and you get money. It's a win-win situation."
"There's such a thing as a win-win situation" Lucy growled in a lower voice "And there's such things as a bullshit scheme! This plan is absolutely stupid and selfish! And only the absolute biggest jerks would EVER try to hire me, a professional criminal, for something as insignificant and selfish as this!!!"
Blackie ignored this, his true colors now fully displayed and in bulk "So are we on?"
Lucy snatched the briefcase away, yanked it open and peeked inside "You're lucky I'm short on money. So yes, I'll do your damn job, who's the target?"
Blackie grin grew even smugger as he pulled out a picture of a particularly attractive wolf "She is, her name is Sandra Wolf."
Lucy took the picture and studied it, she didn't know how yet, but she had to do this job.
She groaned inwardly. This was going to be a long week.
Daytime had risen, and Lucy was at work, as opposed to some of the fat slobs she'd seen riding on segways earlier or a busty vixen who was jogging by in an exercise outfit tight and skimpy enough to let others mistake her for a prostitute.
Lucy dipped her chopsticks into the take-out Chinese box containing a large serving of noodles, rice, and steamed shrimp, having eaten most everything else waiting for her target to leave the house.
She'd been outside a moderately sized, one story house since 4 that morning. This humble abode however was the home of one Sandra Wolf, and as the window leading into her gym told, she was indeed present.
Lucy had to give her credit, Sandra was taking her Mrs. Olympia training seriously, she'd only woke up an hour ago and was using a weight machine even before such things as showering or other activities most people do upon awakening from slumber, such as brushing their teeth.
Lucy was drawing a theoretical floorplan of the house, only the gym and bedroom could be identified though. She made a mental note to look through the house when Sandra left, whenever that was.
A blue car drove up to the house as Lucy in turn pulled out a thermos full of coffee, a particularly strong Arabian brand she particularly enjoyed drinking on stakeouts.
Lucy paid attention to the wolf that stepped out, a tall and attractive brown furred female she identified as Sanda's best friend Bonita (though she didn't know where Blackie got her picture from.)
Bonita took one look in through the window and Lucy could notice she was worried about something, possibly related to the exercise if her gaze was pointing the way she thought it was.
The feline screwed her themos shut after quickly chugging what was left of her coffee, she was going to have waited for a little longer but Lucy decided a challenge wouldn't be too bad every once and a while.
As Bonita entered Sandra's home, Lucy reached in the glove compartment for her case of bugs.
Time to figure out how to go about sabotage…while her target and the target's friend are in the house…the whole time you plant listening devices.
'Yep' Lucy thought as she left the car 'This'll be a piece of cake, just like the Fring job."
"…98…99…" counted a lovely and incredibly ripped female wolf as she lifted an 80 pound set of weights in a long yet very important repetition exercise, this grey furred beauty, this canine amazon, was Sandra Wolf, rival of Monica Brown Bear and Lucy's current target.
"100!" the lupine yowled somewhat loudly after finishing said exercise, taking care to lower the weights as carefully as she could.
Sandra stood up, her body was already quite toned and her muscles were very strong from all these months of training. She stood a chance in the Ms. Olympia competition, but for her, it wasn't enough.
It never really was.
Stretching her ripped body, Sandra prepared for her exercises with the rowing machine, stopping as soon as she realized she had an audience.
Bonita stood in the doorway to the gym, looking at her friend as she finished her beginning workout.
Sandra began to walk over to the rowing machine, "Hello Bonita" said the athlete.
"Sandra…" Bonita began "Did you eat breakfast already, or did you just go straight to exercise. Again?!"
The Utah born canine's eyebrow rose in curiosity "No, I had a protean shake. Why do you ask?"
Bonita groaned and rose her hand up towards her head, a loud slapping noise ensuing "Sandra, how many times have I told you that starving yourself won't make you more fit?"
The bodybuilder scoffed "What's your point? I need to work hard or else Monica will win."
Bonita sighed "Sandra…you're my best friend, I know you want to win the Olympia contest, and I know you work hard. But you can't just do exercise all the time, you gotta give yourself a break every once in a while."
The statuesque wolf (who had literally no idea a white furred cat was currently in her living room, planting listening devices in a very convenient hiding place behind a picture of her brothers) sighed in turn "Bonita, I've worked out for months. You've seen the kind of girls that win Mrs. Olympia contests. You know how determined Monica is to win it."
"She's so determined to win it because of how much YOU want to win it."
Sandra huffed "Whatever."
Bonita groaned "Sandra…when was the last time you got out of the house for something other than jogging?"
The bodybuilder rose an eyebrow, sure she could spare the time to answer her, but the rowing should begin soon.
Bonita interrupted her just as he friend was about to open her mouth "And trading insults with bears doesn't count."
"Well…" Sandra began "About two weeks ago I went to a roller derby, but that's about it."
Bonita crossed her arms "Sandra, I was going to invite you to breakfast. Could you…stop the exercise for a short while? I'd like to spend some time with you."
Sandra was about to protest but stopped, Bonita was right, even though plenty of work was needed yet she might be able to spare a small amount of time to assure Bonita she wasn't overdoing it. She could always resume her workouts later.
"Alright, let's go down to Jack's."
The wolves left the room to head out to Bonita's car and shortly afterwards to a nearby diner. And no sooner did they leave this often used gym, Lucy slipped right out the front door with nary a sound or even a second lost making her way over to her own car…as if the world and everything in it was hers.
Jack's Diner was your average roadside diner; it looked like something straight out of the 50s on the outside, but on the inside, it looked like something out of an eighties trucker movie.
Lucy sat about three booths away from her target and the Argentinean wolf named Bonita, sipping another cup of coffee and pretending to read a tabloid magazine.
She found the story of how a certain A-List movie star's acting career was going down the shitter after those photographs of his homosexual midget orgy were released quite absurd…she took those pictures, and not the tabloid's agents.
Honestly, how was she going to keep getting work if others kept taking credit for her work? Granted this was useful for assassination jobs, but this has been happening for too long now.
She got her mind off of jobs long past and concentrated on the wolves.
As far as Lucy could tell, Sandra's put herself on a very strict diet, having ordered just a small steak, some veggies, and a glass of water, Bonita'd ordered pancakes with eggs and bacon.
And she seemed a bit upset with Sandra, "Do you have to stick to that diet all the time?" She groaned, apparently her frustration came from the fact Sandra's training was constant and extended to more than just exercise.
Sandra groaned again as she waited for her food "Do you have to keep complaining about my diet? I'm in training."
"But you don't have to dedicate your life to training…can't you just try to relax for once?"
Sandra gave the first smile she had all day (being more like a smirk in this case) "Do you see a barbell set around here? I am relaxing."
"But you're still thinking about it, even when you aren't exercising, you've still got winning on the brain."
Sandra lowly growled "And what's wrong with that?"
"Nothing…I'm just scared of what'll happen if you lo-"
"I! Will! Not! Lose!" She snarled in a louder and more indignant tone.
Lucy'd finished her coffee and was about to figure out what else she could do to look like she fit in, when a new sight came to her…Monica Brown Bear herself.
Lucy had seen plenty of bears in her time, but Monica had a physique as buff and formidable as Sandra's, and she was pretty close to the assassin's own strength level.
The ursine weight lifter smelt of arrogance as she strode just behind Sandra "Jesus, is it a full moon already?"
Bontia drew a face to her face for the purpose of palming it, she knew all too well what was about to happen. Grass grows, birds fly, the Scout hurts people…and whenever Sandra and Monica were in the same room, a fight would always ensue.
The lupine bodybuilder whirled in an angry whirl of teeth and fur, her eyes narrowing at her nemesis.
"Monica!" She roared "What the Hell are you doing here?!"
The bear sneered "I came to see if the mongrels were still practicing a lesson in absolute FAILIURE!" Empathizing the last word in a loud shout.
"Funny. I was thinking the same thing about bears" Sandra snapped back "Aren't you supposed to be sucking down a honey pot?"
The insult deflected off Sandra like a bee trying to sting the Tin Woodsman "And you should be chewing on a bone, and have you ever heard of something called a breath mint? I don't know if I should call a hazmat team down here or something."
Lucy began to wonder why Blackie was dating her to begin with. Monica seemed to be a real bitch, and it was even more obvious that a fight would break out if somebody didn't stop this.
Sandra got up from her seat with a snarl and a glare so hotly burning with rage the sun would die of envy, an evil grin appearing on the bear's face as she prepared for a fight.
Bonita wasn't too keen on another building getting destroyed because of Monica and Sandra's feud, so she decided to play peacemaker.
Moving from her seat with a speed that surprised even Lucy, the Argentinean wolf got between her friend and the bear-bitch in hopes of preventing another fight.
"Look guys, can't you two just hold off from trying to kill each other today? The contest isn't until next week; you can always try to one-up one another then."
Lucy watched as Monica's brain processed these words she began to relax a little "Fine, I don't have to tear you apart now…coward."
Bonita couldn't have held back Sandra as the wolf made a swipe at Monica, but being in front of her seemed to make her friend less willing to try and punch the bear's jaw off.
As soon as the bear left, Lucy got up. Perhaps she should have continued tailing her targets but now she was curious.
What caused this whole feud anyways?
Maybe she didn't know, but a certain black bear who hired her did…